How do you tell if someone might be conning you?

Before I get into the meat of this post, I’d like to address some things upfront.

• Is this post about Gary James of A4cwsn? Yes; but it’s equally applicable to a hundred other situations you may encounter with a romantic partner, a business colleague even someone you meet on the street.
• Won’t Gary threaten to sue you for libel in relation to this post? Probably. What do you want me to do though? Stay silent? The only thing I can categorically say that I know to be true about Gary is that he is unprofessional and consequently I would not do business with him under any circumstances. There is so much evidence of his unprofessional behaviour that I don’t understand how anyone could consider that statement as constituting libel. He insults and threatens individuals using his corporate Facebook and twitter account. I’ve been in the business world for 23 years and have never encountered anyone who would suggest that this is anything other than unprofessional conduct. Here’s a couple of examples:

Threatening a mother on twitter, telling her not to answer her phone or door:

On the Big Grips Facebook page, intimating that numerous other app-related pages were involved in ripping off Big Grips:

• Are you asserting that Gary has done anything fraudulent? No. I’m not in a position to do that, but the Connecticut Attorney General’s office is, and they are actively investigating him on charges relating to fraud.
• Are you saying that Gary is a sociopath/psychopath? No. I am not a psychiatrist and even if I were, I don’t believe you can accurately diagnose someone from a distance. I am saying that if you are trying to determine whether to align yourself with him professionally or to trust him with your money, let his behaviours speak for themselves.
• Isn’t this just professional jealousy because you are an admin on other app-related Facebook sites? No. I actively support and promote other app-related sites and pages – the iTeach Special Education group on Facebook, the iMums, Digital Storytime, Technology in Special Education… the list goes on.
• Don’t you just hate the A4 community and want to see it destroyed? I have 65 Facebook friends that still ‘Like’ the A4 page. I have A4 members who ‘Like’ my blog page on Facebook. I interact with these folks on other pages and other sites with no problems. If you read my prior posts in relation to Gary, it will become clear that I loved the A4 community, which is why I became so involved in it and participated with ample amounts of both my time and money.
• Why don’t you just let it go and move on? Well, I pretty much have. I haven’t mentioned either Gary or A4cwsn anywhere in quite some time. The reason for this post is because Gary is again starting to solicit funds from both developers and the special needs community. There are people out there who are getting involved because they aren’t aware of his history. I have a duty of care to these people to say something and at least ensure that they make informed decisions.

So, having addressed those questions, let’s consider how you can tell if someone might be conning you. One of the things you learn as the parent of an autistic child is that behaviour is communication. You may not have a smoking gun that proves someone is trying to defraud you, but in personal and business relationships how someone behaves is an excellent way of discerning whether or not they are someone you can trust. I recently read The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson and am embarking on The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us by Dr. Martha Stout. Here are a few character traits to watch out for together with comments regarding whether or not Gary has exhibited these behaviours or not.

• Honouring some commitments is not conclusive proof that someone is above-board. The ‘con’ in con-artist stands for confidence – what’s being referred to here is the confidence they are generating in you. People have said to me “I have an iPad from Gary James” as if that explains away everyone’s concerns. The issue here is not whether or not Gary has given people iPads; because he clearly has. The issue is three-fold:
• Are all commitments being met? I don’t believe so. For example, individuals in only 48 states received an iPad as part of the “50 iPad” campaign. A couple other examples are:

Android reviews were coming ‘soon’ – on April 6, 2011 and never transpired.

These app party promises never materialized:

This was a “plan” he had in relation to the 2011 Buddy Cruise that never happened:

In June of 2011, we were excited to hear the name of someone who would get his help for “1 YEAR”. You’ll notice that Holly Stillwagon, Cynthia Gregory and myself all liked that comment – all three of us were later ostracized from the community and blocked from the Facebook page, precisely because we asked questions regarding commitments like this one:

Then there was of course these extravagant claims in September 2011. This comment was liked by Virginia Dorrell and Teriann Morgan – also individuals who have now been blocked from the community and page.

• Are all donations and expenses correctly accounted for? Gary has consistently stated that he does not need to publicly account for donations and expenses because he is just ‘a man and a computer’.
• Are all charitable activities legal and compliant with the law? This is for the authorities to determine. What we do know is that Very Special People (VSP) is set up as a non-profit but it’s unclear whether donations for the 40 iPad campaign are going to go through VSP or not. (VSP does not yet have tax-exempt status so any donations will not be tax deductible unless the 501(c)(3) application is approved).
• Credentials and prior experience are exaggerated or falsified. I’ve heard people suggest that in Gary’s case, this is irrelevant. Well, don’t try telling a historian that what happened in the past is irrelevant because past IS prologue. The best indicator of future actions is prior behaviour. To give you just one example of Gary exaggerating his prior experience – he frequently claimed that he had worked for Rolling Stone magazine when in fact he was a butler, hired by Wenner Media (the parent company of Rolling Stone). I have no problem with him being a butler, but he consistently mis-represented what he did for Wenner.
• Claims expertise they don’t have. At different times Gary has claimed to have a Masters in Psychology, taught at the High School level, been a contender for the Olympics and a computer programmer. Does it seem likely to you that he has done all these things, given he was born in 1968 and has worked at a Colorado hotel, been a butler for several wealthy individuals, ran a dog kennel, a nanny business and now runs A4?
• As you discover loose ends and inconsistencies, when you question the person about them, they will either respond glibly (you’re told to just take things on trust) or angrily and defensively. Remember, there were 10 of us who were ‘blacklisted’ and blocked from the A4cwsn page because we had the audacity to ask questions. Here’s him yesterday tweeting to one mother who has had the temerity to ask questions:

Turning statements back on people is a common tactic of Gary’s. Lois donated iPads and money to A4 totalling thousands of dollars. Here he is saying that he should be invoicing her for his visit…

… and the ever-present threat of being taken to court. These threats are often made together with his trademark passive-aggressive smiley:

• Isolation of people from the influence of others. Gary behaves like other app pages or organizations are threats rather than potential collaborators. I can attest to the fact that when Gary was choosing iPad recipients in relation to the 50 iPad campaign, he required active participation on and promotion of A4 and saw it as disloyal when individuals were active on other pages. When the Technology in Education page got mentioned on CNN, the A4 website was briefly shown on screen, but not mentioned. Here’s Gary trying to take credit for the achievements of another page:

• Use of charm and flattery. Gary routinely talks about how ‘amazing’ the A4 community is. Of course there’s nothing wrong with this in isolation, but in the context of all the other behaviours demonstrated, it comes across as manipulative.

• Fluent talkers. Gary has appeared numerous times in print and on radio and television for a reason – he sounds good!
• Use of manipulation. For me, the biggest manipulative tactic Gary has used was telling a select few of us that he only had 3 to 6 months left to live. 10 months has passed since he told us that.
• Egocentric; and make grandiose claims and plans – usually funded with other people’s money. He announced the 40 iPad campaign with a big splash and encouraged people to enter and share. He seems to be short on details though…

A couple of weeks after all the 40 iPad hoopla started, he has now announced he needs money from the community in order to make it happen – he’s charging email subscribers so he can hire staff, create a new website, develop apps… yes, making grandiose plans with other people’s money seems to describe this pretty well:

• Exhibit poor behaviour control.

Calling a mother on twitter a “pussy”:

We’re not sure if this blog comment was from him or (as is implied) his wife, but the comment came from his IP address:

• Acts impulsively. Let’s not forget his decision earlier this year to forever abandon A4 on Facebook and Twitter (that lasted about a couple of weeks):

• Makes appeals for sympathy and plays for pity. Remember, this comment was made on a page for an entity that is ostensibly a business:

• Targeting decent, trusting people. The special needs community is a very vulnerable one because we rely so much on each other.
• Seeks to erode the confidence and reputation of those who stand up to them. The email below is one that he sent to a number of people involved with both Smart Apps for Kids and AppAble. Personal email addresses have been blocked out. He enclosed a copy of a status from my personal Facebook page (in which neither he nor A4 were mentioned) and his subject heading reads “Going out to developers who support your sites.”

His continual threats to sue people have been going on for months now. Here’s a recent one from his A4 twitter account – given that this special needs mother of 4 children reviews apps on her site, it’s pretty clear what he’s trying to do here. (She hasn’t been served papers however, just been sent a letter on legal letterhead.)

• Constant need for excitement. Gary loves to create drama – here he is on the Smart Apps for Kids Facebook page. The comment he is referring to is one I made on the Social Express Facebook page in response to their post encouraging people to enter the A4cwsn “40 iPad giveaway”. I don’t see anything defamatory or factually inaccurate in what I said, I merely recommended that people do some due diligence before getting involved with A4.

• They want, above all costs, to win:

…says the man who didn’t have the $850 to file for VSP to have tax-exempt status:

Dr. Robert Hare, the Canadian psychologist who devised the test to determine whether someone is a psychopath/sociopath said in his book Without Conscience:

“[Subcriminal psychopaths] appear to function reasonably well—as lawyers, doctors, psychiatrists, academics, mercenaries, police officers, cult leaders, military personnel, businesspeople, writers, artists, entertainers and so forth—without breaking the law, or at least without being caught and convicted. These individuals are every bit as egocentric, callous and manipulative as the average criminal psychopath; however, their intelligence, family background, social skills and circumstances permit them to construct a façade of normalcy and to get what they want with relative impunity.”

Being a psychopath doesn’t mean you’re a criminal. It is possible to be one and not break the law, but these individuals cheat on spouses, act unethically, lie easily and often commit “white-collar” crime undetected.

Again, I want to reiterate, I am neither saying, nor implying, that Gary James is a psychopath. I am not saying he has done anything illegal. What I am saying is that he behaves in ways that should give people pause for thought. He is unprofessional and if you’re a developer you’re going to want to consider whether the messages from his twitter and Facebook business accounts are ones you feel comfortable being associated with. He has made promises that he hasn’t kept, so if you’re a member of the special needs community thinking of giving him money, or hoping to receive an iPad from him, weigh the evidence and decide whether you feel he is trustworthy or not. What do his behaviours tell you?